Countdown to T-Day

Today is the day.

Yeah, I’m going to pull on my boots, don a flannel shirt, and go all Pa Ingalls. I’ve got 10 people coming for dinner next Thursday, and this girl needs a turkey.

Of course, I’ll be packing a credit card instead of a muzzle loader. But still. Trust me, the turkey competition here in the Northwest has got to be just as stiff as anything the Big Woods ever delivered…

Except here you’re usually intercepted by wonderful, well-meaning folks who think that Friday in the frozen food aisle is a fine time and place for a lecture on why you should choose organic, or free-range, or all-vegetarian-diet turkeys. Regarding that last one, I will try to refrain from launching into my own mini lecture that goes something like this –

TURKEYS ARE NOT VEGETARIANS!!!

I hate to break it to you, but turkeys eat BUGS! And last time I checked, BUGS were not vegetables. So how do you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your all-vegetarian-diet turkey NEVER ate a bug?

At this point, most folks just back away slowly, so I seize the moment, haul an 85-pounder out of the freezer case, and make a break for the checkout stand.

But really, this post is not about how to ward off well-meaning (but menacing) turkey lovers.

It’s really about cooking with children’s books.

You see, every year the folks who eat T-day dinner at my place wonder how I manage to make it all taste so good (face it, NO one assumes that writers know diddly about cooking).

Well, it’s time for the big reveal –

The Little House Cookbook by Barbara M. Walker.

But I’ll warn you right now –

It is chock-full of politically incorrect words like…

FAT

LARD

BACON DRIPPINGS

CREAM

And BUTTER.

Honestly, it’s a wonder that this book isn’t banned in New York. Thankfully, it makes no mention of BIG GULPS.

But you can bet your Ingalls’ bootstraps that EVERYTHING tastes better with BACON and BUTTER…

Probably even BUGS.

PROMPT: Whether we’re talking schlopp, schlopp beautiful schlopp à la Seuss or ox tails à la Ingalls, cooking with children’s books is the best. Cook up your own bit of beastly feast by writing about tasty treats today. But be warned – getting this exactly right can be dangerous! I, for one, cannot read LIW’s Farmer Boy without gaining at least 12 pounds.

 

Just a Girl with Glasses

Is your glass half full or half empty?

Half full!

Half empty!

It depends on what’s in the glass.

It’s half full of beverage and half full of air!

Wait a minute – I don’t think that’s a beverage.

Grumble Grumble Grumble… It’s gonna spill anyway.

What are we talking about?

If the glass was in the forest and no one was there to see it, would it still be half anything?

The glass is two times bigger than it needs to be.

Look – a squirrel!

Regardless of how you answered the question, raise that glass today!

You are officially halfway through this YESvember month of NaNoWriMo and PiBoIdMo!

Woot!

I do believe it is time for a dance break.

Bon Jovi, anyone?

Whoooa, we’re halfway there…

 

PROMPT: Is your main character an optimist, pessimist, or in serious need of ADD meds? How would he or she answer the question?

One Small Step for Students…

It has been a wacky week here at the Elbow.

I have been deep undercover on an educational company assignment (Black Holes, Canals, and Caverns, Oh my!).

So, as deadlines… ahem… LIFElines loom, I’m going to let the boys from Harvard give you a jump-start today.

Lucky for me, they are WAY-outside-of-the-box thinkers.

Yes, I’m talking about –

Burgers…

In SPACE!!!

Here’s a link for your enjoyment.

 

PROMPT: What (or who) would you like to see sent into space? Trust me, there is a story in there somewhere!

NaNoWriMo – Day 13…

Yes, I imagine you are all getting pretty tired out there.

But fear not, Elbow Benders –

Science says sleepiness can work for you!

A recent study reported in Thinking and Reasoning found that the unfocused, disorganized thinking style of the tired brain caused it to make random connections.

Um…duh. Someone was actually paid to determine this?

Anyway, it turns out that these random connections are exactly what you need to gain insights or jump-start creative tasks.

You realize what this means don’t you?

If you are weary, worn out, or wiped…

Griping is no longer aloud.     

Humph…

Dang scientists.

 

PROMPT: Hip, hip, hooray, we’re sleepy today! Write about the weirdest place your main character could catch some Z’s. Or try this one on for size – Sandman vs. Snowman… with espresso.

 

This is What a Hero Looks Like

The freedom to say what we want.

The freedom to write what we want.

The freedom to worship what we want…

Even if it is chocolate.

The freedom to wear tank tops…

Wait a minute – that’s bear arms.

The freedom to assemble…

Puzzles, old cars, and protests.

And so on and so forth.

Without a doubt, freedoms abound in this great land of ours.

Freedoms we take for granted so many days of the year.

But all of these wonderful freedoms…

are not free.

 

Thank you, Veterans, for your courage, service, and sacrifice.

 

PROMPT: Find some veterans – thank them…  Hug them.