Everything’s Better with…

Thanks to yesterday’s post featuring Eoin Colfer, I can’t stop thinking about some of the fabulous “characters” who fill out my family tree.

In particular, it’s my grandmother who keeps coming to mind.

Here are the facts:

She had only an eighth grade education, but she could spell anything. I mean it — anything. Trust me, it was weird.

She never held an official driver’s license, but employed her backseat driver’s license with reckless abandon.

In addition to her faith, my grandmother held fast to a fundamental belief that everything was better with butter — graham crackers, warm milk, 3^rd degree burns, psychological trauma… you name it. If you could slap a pat on it, she was the one to do it.

She had a personal soundtrack of just three songs — “Rock of Ages,” “Amazing Grace,” and “The Old Rugged Cross.” They were sung or hummed in a continuous loop and paused only when engaging in gossip.

Regarding gossip — the main source of most of her material was Mabel. For at least 50 years, it was always “Mabel said…” such and such or “Mabel told me…” this and that. But here’s the kicker — in all that time, none of us ever met the woman. And of course, a few of the nuttier branches of our family tree still ponder whether Mabel was real…

or imagined.  

Yes indeed, a great character is close at hand.

Now all I have to do is…

add butter.

PROMPT: Pick a character from your family and flesh out their facts. Then throw a problem or two his or her way (butter is optional) and voila — instant story, guaranteed!