Got Compost?

It’s May 29th!

And you know what that means…

It’s National Learn About Composting Day!

Go ahead, Doubters — look it up.

I’ll wait.

Satisfied?

Well, dang it, then — let’s learn about composting!

When gardeners compost, they take a bunch of useless leftovers, throw them into a pile, turn them over and over a bunch of times, and voilà!  They create fantabulous fertilizer for rockin’ their leaf-lovin’ world.

You may be wondering exactly what qualifies as a compostable, useless leftover.

Well, wonder no more — I found a website listing 163 things you can compost. The page was cleverly titled “163 Things You Can Compost” and if you’re interested, you can find it here.

As you can imagine, I was incredibly inspired by this list. So much so that I decided to take a few of the items and translate them into writer-speak just for you.

Because here’s a little secret that you ought to know —

Writers out-compost gardeners every single day of the week.

Gardeners (Writers)

Wood ashes (rotten childhood)

Chicken manure (schoolyard bullies)

Bee droppings (the ones who dumped you)

Sunday Comics (the ones you dumped)

Crab shells (lousy bosses)

Moldy cheese (lousy jobs)

Freezer-burned fish (picked last for the softball team…again)

Hoof and horn meal (but first to be seated in the spelling bee)

Dried jellyfish (laid off, downsized, terminated, frustrated)

Dead flies (wardrobe malfunctions)

Dust bunnies (worst haircut ever — she wouldn't even let you pay)

Yes, Writers, you've got this composting competition in the bag.

PROMPT: Take a bunch of useless leftovers, throw them into a pile, turn them over and over a bunch of times in your mind, and voilà!  You've got fantabulous fertilizer for rockin’ your keyboard-clackin’ world.