Light Bulb Moments

Hell, there are no rules here – we're trying to accomplish something.
~Thomas A. Edison

Today I’m putting the finishing touches on a little biography for one of my employers.

It’s about someone whose image you’ll see when you look up “Awesome” in the dictionary.

Yep, I’m talking about Thomas Alva Edison.

If you don’t know much about Tommy Boy, prepare to be enlightened.

Sorry, I can never resist wordplay.

Anyway, when Edison was 30 years old, he built his dream lab.

Soon after moving in, he set a couple of goals.

Goal #1 – He would create one small invention every 10 days.

Goal #2 – He would create one big invention every 6 months.

A long-lasting light bulb and the phonograph would soon follow.

By the end of his life, Mr. Edison had 1,093 patents and…

3,500 notebooks full of thoughts and ideas.

Imagine what YOU could do if you made a couple of goals like that.

And remember –

To have a great idea, have a lot of them.

~Thomas A. Edison

PROMPT: It’s a great day to get all Edison… or write about a great inventor. Or both! Well, that’s my plan, anyway.

Stand by for this Unimportant Update…

Banana slugs have 27 thousand teeth… on their tongues.

Meanwhile, crocodiles cannot stick out their tongues at all.

A dolphin sleeps with one eye open… because only half its brain sleeps at a time.

And speaking of brains – an ostrich brain is smaller than its eyeball. So don’t hold your breath waiting for ground-breaking theories from their camp.

By the way, ostriches do not stick their heads into the ground or sand or whatever… However, Flamingos can only eat if their heads are upside down.

Goat pupils are rectangles – trust me, they’re very creepy.

Hippos are so dang cool, they do not sweat. But they do secrete their own sunscreen…

I wonder if it smells like coconuts.

Um, No.

But yes, yes, yes! You’ve probably guessed –

It’s National Trivia Day!

This has got to be one of my favorites –

The one day of the year I can yammer with abandon about all of the useless facts I’ve acquired as a writer for the children’s educational market…

What delicious and frivolous joy!

By the way, the next time your mom or wife complains about the birthing process –

let her know that kiwi birds lay eggs that are half their body weight….

Then duck.

PROMPT: When you need a story start – think trivia. How about a story about those beleaguered banana slug dentists? What if goats are really the aliens among us? How about dolphin-sleep as a super power? Goodness knows, I could have used that one in Macroeconomics class.

The Resolve Dissolve

A New Year Poem

January 1: No desserts.
January 2: No desserts after 4 pm.
January 3: Doughnuts are NOT desserts.

PROMPT: Write about resolutions gone wrong… unless, of course, you’ve already given up writing.

Basket Case

So here I am, ready to start the New Year off with a whole heap of good writing…

when who pads in to play sandbar to this ship of progress?

Felis Domesticus –

AKA Goalis Suckerus.

Face it, cats would rather see you working the business end of a can opener than taking care of business… any business.

Obviously, this includes working on your 2013 dreams, plans, and goals.

You see, cats have never really gotten over the fact that we’ve moved on from those ancient Egyptian days of feline idolatry. They figure that every moment you spend working on something of yours means one less moment worshiping THEM.

And they’re not taking it lying down.

Um… actually they are –

On keyboards…

Important documents…

Fresh paintings.

Which brings me to today’s writing tip –

If you do not have a cat, DO NOT GET ONE.

Sure they are cute and cuddly, but that’s just a front…

Cats have hearts of stone when it comes to your evolution above and beyond can opener level.

You have been warned.

If you do have a cat, YOU must adjust.

Never expect a cat to adjust to anything involving decent sleeping or working hours.

Trust me, I’m pretty much an expert on this one –

I’ve had three obvious bouts of insanity resulting in three resident felines.

I’ve done a LOT of adjusting.

Which leads me to today’s tip for those who've already succumbed to cat madness –

Invest in a desk basket…

 

Keyboard is cat-free.

Barb –1 | Cat – 0

(Mwa Ha Ha!)

 

PROMPT: It’s a great day for a crazy cat lady story… or perhaps a documentary on the feline Facebook takeover – step one in their plan for world domination.

Happy New Year!

I’m wishing you all the BEST for your 2013 creative goals!

Today is a great day to dream your dreams…

Wish your wishes…

Plan your plans…

Then plan to be surprised!

The BEST things in life are happy accidents, after all.

 

PROMPT: Write down your 2013 aspirations! Sure, you may not intend to gaze upon them again… you may plan to stuff them in a drawer… or set them on fire… but WRITE THEM DOWN anyway. It’s all part of the Mind’s Elbow magic formula.

Yes, I still believe in magic.

What can I say – it’s part of my job description.

Oh – and I’d like to wish plenty of extra magic for all my peeps with a touch of Triskaidekaphobia… Because… um… it’d be a really good year to give that one up, don’t ya think?