Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Old Gray Mare

She ain’t what she used to be. Yeah, that is a photo of my laptop keyboard. And those white blotches are not glare. I think that I have probably used more than my fair share of a few letters. When it comes to vowels especially, I am clearly a one-percenter. So far, no one has protested or egged my car. I think I hide it well.

Anyway, back to my computer... When I look at that keyboard and hear the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang chug-a-lug of her tired old fan, I am made aware of the miles of words I’ve put on her and think, “You know, I might be a writer.”

You might be a writer, too.

Here are a few of the signs –

You visit coffee houses for the drop (as in eavesdrop factor) instead of the drip.

You think that solitary confinement is not a form of torture, but a great way to complete that novel.

You see movie trailers and the first thing out of your mouth is a plot prediction, NOT “Gee Honey, that looks good.” Case in point – I think I watched about three thousand trailers for The Odd Life of Timothy Green during the Olympics, and I never once thought of it as a “feel good” movie I wanted to experience. Instead, my mind went straight to – “That kid is a pile of brown sludge by first frost, or I will eat my hat.”

You reread good books just to figure out how the author created the “ride.”

You tell small children that you get paid real money for making up big fat lies.

You would leave your house without pants before you’d leave without a pen and paper.

I could go on, but I think I’ve probably shared quite enough.

PROMPT: Comedian Jeff Foxworthy started an entire career using the line “You might be a redneck.” In fact, he is the largest selling comedy recording artist in history, and his material is based on tube tops, trailer parks, and wreath family trees. Trust me, you can top this. Pick your “You might be a…” and GO!

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