Friday, August 9, 2013

Release Your Inner Sloth

Gone Fishin’

August 10th is National Lazy Day!

Yeah, I know that’s tomorrow…

But I’m starting the celebration early.

BIG time.

PROMPT: You should, too.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

I Don’t Know Jack, but Joe’s Another Story

It just so happens that my little rural county ranks 4th in the nation’s per capita coffee consumption. Apparently we’re just behind Seattle, San Francisco, and some place in Alaska where they probably use only drip…

an IV drip.

Those Alaskans will stop at nothing to get on the percolated podium.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure that our recent spike in coffee drinking was thanks to yours truly.

Luckily, I'm in good company.

When J.S. Bach wasn't working on Fugues and Passions, he was suckin’ down the home brew. Next thing you know, he’s expressing his espresso devotion with a Coffee Cantata (seriously – look it up). Composer Verdi was next to chime in. “Coffee is balm to the heart and spirit,” he said (quite musically, I’m sure).

And Verdi could have added “the mind” as well. Java research has found that it can boost mental performance.

And while coffee’s effects on creativity specifically are mixed, the latest studies have found that combining a caffeine buzz with coffee shop background noise is great for the mind’s elbow.

And speaking of noise…

One group of researchers has suggested that drinking over 5 cups of coffee a day can increase your chances of auditory hallucinations…

Hmmm… Those voices you’re hearing may not be those of your book’s characters after all.

Anyway, so far my “ode to Joe” sounds a lot like the Lennon classic, Whatever Gets You Thru the Night.

Because in my book…

Whatever gets you through the day

 is okay… okay.

PROMPT: Go ahead and slip yourself “a slug from the wonderful mug” by writing your own Java Jive today. But if you’re not feeling musical, no problem! Ponder your main character’s favorite coffee house order. Or go for a Best Beverage ABC featuring D for Double Shot and for Tall No Foam No Fat Caramel Machiato.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Smoochie Smoochie

What if the Beatles were right?

What if LOVE is really all you need?

Chances are, somebody you know needs love, too.

Get creative with the ones you care about. Send them something out of the blue —

A note

A picture

A pot-bellied pig

Surprise them and I’m sure you’ll find that the old cliché is true —

What goes around does indeed come back around.

PROMPT: Okay, I’ll go first…

Thanks so much for taking the time out of your day to read this wacky little blog of mine. I think you’re the GREATEST! I wish you all the very best in making your creative dreams come true.

Much love,


Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Washington: The State of Insanity

Given that the Seattle City Council now wants to ban the words “citizen” and “brown bag” (I am as serious as a heart attack here)… I thought this one was worth a re-post.

Recently, the great state of Washington made headlines when it went on a little tear to make all state laws gender-neutral.

Apparently, the words freshman, fisherman, and penmanship have been banned.

Now we can only be first-year students and fishers engaged in handwriting here in the Evergreen State.

You see, somebody’s feelings might get hurt if we use those other words.

Well, here’s my take —

If being called a “freshman” is going to turn you into a non-functioning human curled up in a fetal position and crying for your mama —

You need therapy.

Meanwhile, how many of those “sensitive” freshmen out there are at this very moment merrily singing along to every rap song featuring words that sound like garden tools or rhyme with “itches?”

Just sayin’.

Oh, and regarding the word updates, one National Women’s Law Center senior adviser said, “This is important in changing hearts and minds.”


Yep, I’m pretty sure penmanship is making a BIG impact on hearts and minds.

So where do we stop, Ms. Adviser?

I mean, I’m not sure what to call myself right now.

Surely, I can’t be a woMAN

or a feMALE.

or a perSON.

Or a huMAN being.

Oh my! Should we ban those words, too?

Maybe I’ll just go with XX from now on.

And what about those letters, Washington State?

You know, I’ve been thinking…

That Q looks a little too male for my taste.

I think it should go, don’t you?

And Y — only guys have Y chromosomes, so…

Outta here!

Actually, I know what should be outta here —

Legislators, get out of the word business.

After all, when we finally ban ALL of the words and letters that can potentially offend a hu*** per*** (believe me, I’ve worked as a therapist — there is NO END to the list of things folks can get worked up over or break down about),

Take a good long look at what remains…


Warning to all writers —

If you are going to put pen to page, you are going to offend someone.


“The writer who is a real writer is a rebel who never stops.”
~William Saroyan

Get your rebel on!

Um… can someone, like, post my bail?

Monday, August 5, 2013

The Noes Have It

Oh Yeah

No fat
No cholesterol

No mortgage
No bills

No 1040

No 401K


No wonder
I could dance

I thought we should spend today celebrating noes. Noes, noes, wonderful noes! There are so many different kinds of noes in the world, don’t you think?

First there are the noes associated with rejection. We've covered them here previously, and in my opinion, those are the noes you can largely ignore.

Then there are the noes allied with independence. If you’re a parent you know exactly what I am talking about. I remember a morning when my dear, sweet, charming, and docile 18-month-old boy awoke, stood up in his crib and shouted “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” at the very top of his lungs. And so it began… the terrible twos a few months early (that kid has always been an over-achiever).

Of course, there are those parental noes, too. The ones related to any danger that could befall your once sweet, charming, and docile 18-month-old boy. My husband and I had to say no so many times regarding the electrical outlets that our children took to calling them “no-noes.” In fact, they referred to outlets as “no-noes” for so many years that we once fretted they would head off to college and say, “Excuse me, could you please direct me to the nearest no-no? I need to charge my iPhone.”

There are also those “positive” noes associated with advertising. As in – NO FAT! NO CHOLESTEROL! NO SUGAR! NO FLAVOR! Sorry, that last one was mine and would be an unlikely find in advertising.

And what would we do without the “NOOOOOOoooooooooooo!” linked to Luke learning that Darth was really his father?

PROMPT: Tackle those noes today! The noes that mean no. The noes that mean maybe. The noes that mean What the H...? What does no mean to you? What image or story does no evoke? Create. Create. Create!

And NO procrastinating!