So Many Choices... So Little Mind

Here’s some news you can use —

Our good friends in the field of neuroscience have proven that the brain’s most productive time is within the first two hours of waking up.

Ah yes, smug pessimists, you’re right about this one — it’s all downhill from here.

But optimists, take heart! Applied wisely, this could be the best news you’ve heard all day.

First off, let’s explore why this is so.

Well, in not-so-super-scientific terms, your brain gets tired. 

And what makes it tired? Three things really —

Decision. Decisions. Decisions.

Okay, that looks like only one thing. But it turns out that mental energy is drained away with every choice you make — especially those that involve willpower. At a certain point your grey matter thinks nothing matters... “Like whatever, Dude. Whatever.”

The actual super-scientific term for this is called decision fatigue. And it explains why a health-conscious person will refuse that tempting bowl of donutty frosted fun first thing in the morning, yet gleefully scarf down two or three at noon.

But is this fact of life only helpful for those trying to avoid donuts?

Nope.

Arming yourself with this insight can actually help you reach your creative goals. Here’s how:

1. Eliminate unnecessary life decisions... like that pesky morning fashion dilemma. Trust me, if your closet contains only black mock turtlenecks (Steve Jobs) or gray t-shirts (Mark Zuckerberg), you’ll free up your mind for more important choices. And if you want to really go full throttle with decision elimination, you can ditto successful CEOs Alexa Von Tobel and Leo Widrich by eating the same meals each and every day as well.

2. If you spend the first two hours of your day watching YouTube videos of cats wedging themselves into teeny tiny boxes, you might want to rethink the way you start your morning.  Remember that those first two hours are 120 minutes of golden creative opportunity.

3. Creative endeavors require willpower. That is, for most of us they’re optional activities so a decision must be made daily — as in, “Will I write something today, or not?” And we all know what happens when you leave this decision until evening...Yep, you’re glazed and confused from eating ALL the donuts, and you’ve got no words in the file.

So, make the decision ahead of time. In fact, build a habit such as “Every day at (pick your favorite time) I write for X number of minutes or Y number of words.” And voila! That was just one decision, and you’ve already made it! So, if you stick to this plan, you won’t ever need to decide again — leaving your brain freed up for other important choices like...

Do I want the chocolate frosting or vanilla?

PROMPT: Give your brain a choice break and start building creative habits. For a kick-start in habit formation, check out Gretchen Rubin’s book Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives.

By the way, I am guiltily aware that one of your decisions today was spent on choosing to read this blog. For that, I am grateful.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

Would you take a job that paid less than 2 bucks an hour…

or less than zero for the wrong hair, nails, or makeup?

What about a career that enlightens you to the fact that jiggle tests have nothing to do with JELL-O?

Me neither.

But plenty of folks out there have chosen this track cheerfully.

Yes, I’m talking about NFL cheerleaders.

So, what does this have to do with writing your great story?

Bottom line —

People do not always act rationally.

They make boatloads of decisions AKA head-scratchers.

They make crazy, “never in a millions years” choices…

For reasons known only to themselves.

I know I have.

I bet you have, too.

So, don’t forget to make those characters of yours real.

Give ‘em a head scratcher or two…

And, of course, a fabulous backstory that makes it all perfectly reasonable in the end.

PROMPT: Two, Four, Six, Eight! Who do we appreciate? Well-rounded characters with just a touch of crazy. Add some hmmm… to yours today.

Or if you’d rather, write a cheerful backstory. What’s her reason this football season? JELL-O Jigglers are optional.

Truth Wins Again

Are you plumb out of plot?

Would an interesting character give your story a kick-start?

Well, then head on over to Flathead County!

The Flathead Beacon’s Police Blotter by Christie Burns is sure to do the trick.

Here’s a compilation of actual reports —

7:39 a.m. A 4-year-old in the Whitefish area called 911 to advise law enforcement that both his mom and his dad were home. His dad confirmed this and stated that all was well.

9:20 a.m. A balding man in a trench coat stole some candy from a local store. He was last seen pedaling away on his bicycle.

9:22 a.m. Bunnies are loose in the neighborhood of Third Avenue West.

9:26 a.m. A bookkeeper at a lumber yard on Highway 2 West reported that man with a "creep factor of 100" stole a power saw the day before.

9:38 a.m. A man with "sketchy eyes" got out of his truck and yelled obscenities after driving into a building on Electric Avenue in Bigfork.

9:51 a.m. A pair of horses was seen strolling together down Prairie View Road.

10:21 a.m. A Columbia Falls woman called in with additional information regarding the mysterious Tylenol tablets she found on her floor.

10:35 a.m. A handful of runaway mules were spotted on Church Drive.

11:09 a.m. A man on Freckles Road accidentally called 911 while playing with his phone.

1:00 p.m. Someone called in and reported that cows in a pasture off of Highway 206 were standing in the mud. An animal warden found that the cows were indeed standing in the mud, but were not stuck and had access to non-muddy areas.

1:15 p.m. A Kila man reported that someone stole his train picture last year.

1:24 p.m. "Everyone" speeds down Four Mile Drive.

2:39 p.m. Reportedly, a wolf hybrid has been terrorizing the chickens of Coram.

2:49 p.m. A young man in a cheap black suit was seen fighting an older man on Second Street West. They were split up and counseled regarding their bad behavior.

3:47 p.m. A Bigfork woman reported that her uncle, who has a history of bad behavior, drove by her house and flipped her off.

4:33 p.m. Three goats were seen traveling southbound down Highway 93 South.

4:36 p.m. A Kalispell woman called in with a list of names and recommendations for future arrests.

4:38 p.m. Over the last few days a Dawn Drive resident's change has gone missing.

5:11 p.m. Four loose goats were seen standing perilously close to highway 206. They were rounded up and reunited with their pen.

5:49 p.m. A Kila resident reported that the neighbor dog is loose again and harassing his goats. The dog owner denied that his dog was involved in such a thing.

7:18 p.m. A Marion resident reported that the neighbor man was outside Army crawling through the grass.

7:24 p.m. A Marion man claimed that a "hillbilly" threatened not only his life, but his dog's as well.

7:49 p.m. An intoxicated man took a short break from flipping off drivers and took a nap in the middle of Willow Glen Road.

8:59 p.m. Reportedly, a woman stole hygiene products from a Kalispell resident's home then fled the scene in a white pickup.

9:08 p.m. A Bigfork woman reported that a strange man in flip-flops knocked on her door and asked directions. She thought he was weird.

10:12 p.m. A woman reported being startled by the guitar toting, bearded man she encountered when leaving a building on Second Street West.

10:16 p.m. A man in an old pickup was seen "flying in and out of driveways" on Airport Road.

10:28 p.m. A Columbia Falls resident thought he heard an ominous pounding of drums coming from a neighbor's house and worried that something bad had happened.

11:08 p.m. A man on Highway 35 in Kalispell claimed that he brought a stray dog into his apartment because it had been howling outside. The dog, however, continued to deny the man the peace he desired and howled once inside.

Well, there you have it — A delightful day in Flathead County...

I’m thinking it’s less of a Blotter and more of a Plotter.

PROMPT: Every one of those Flathead events has got a backstory — it’s up to you to tell it. Or come up with a blotter of your own… for The Fairytale Times, perhaps?

These Brains Were Made for…

Walking!

This just in from Stanford —

Walking boosts creative inspiration!

Clever researchers Marily Oppezzo and Daniel L. Schwartz examined the creative output of folks who walked vs. folks who sat around.

They found that a person’s creative output increases by an average of 60% when walking.

What’s more, the effect held up whether the subject was walking outside in a stimulating environment or on a treadmill staring at a blank wall.

This last finding was a big surprise to Oppezzo. "I thought walking outside would blow everything out of the water, but walking on a treadmill in a small, boring room still had strong results,” she said.

And with increased creative output in the robust 60% range, you could say this study has some serious legs!

But writers already know this, don’t we?

In fact, you could say we've known it for over a century…

“Me thinks that the moment my legs begin to move,

my thoughts begin to flow.”

― Henry David Thoreau

“All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

 “Nothing like a nighttime stroll to give you ideas.”

― J.K. Rowling

Walk on…

Write on!

PROMPT:     Take a ramble or stroll — see what is does for you.

But be sure to pack a pen and a page or two!

Gnome Gnews

And now for your “Across the Pond” update —

In a recent traffic stop, Scottish police discovered 30 garden gnomes hiding out in the back of some bloke’s van.

Of course, the driver was arrested for possession of stolen property.

But there’s another possibility, isn't there?

What if those pointy-hatted garden pests were actually hitchhikers?

And when the cops said, “Freeze!”

They did.

Never trust a garden gnome.

PROMPT: Prove the driver’s innocence, or create an entry for a future bestseller called Diary of a Garden Gnome.

If you’re participating in the National Poetry Month poem-a-day challenge and feeling rather rhyme-y — a gnomish limerick will do the trick if you’re into something quick. Otherwise, craft an epic “Ode to the Travelling Gnome” by writing ‘til the cows come home.

Listening to the Color of Bacon

If you’re using April to get your poetry game on, then it’s a good time to talk about those sensuous senses! 

Just for clarification, we’re talking about the five senses — we’ll not be covering the “I see dead people” sense today. Sorry.

Anyway, using vivid descriptions of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures can certainly add to the richness of any writing, but they come in especially handy when smacking down a good poem.

For example, you could have your Kansas wheat dancing in the wind, the sun’s warm kiss upon your cheek, or the prickle of a hedgehog on your tongue. Whatever.

Then you could push it, punch it, and pull it like taffy — take your writing to the place where…

Derek tastes like earwax.

Welcome to the land of Synesthesia!

Synesthesia is a neurological condition in which people experience blended senses. For example, sound and sight may be intermingled such that a person sees colorful fireworks whenever she hears music. 

A great demonstration of synesthesia occurs in the movie Ratatouille when Remy explains flavor combinations to his “muscle your way past the gag reflex” brother Emile. For the foodie rat, flavors evoke fireworks and music. For Emile… not so much.

For some synesthetics, words actually evoke flavor sensations — like the guy in the UK who really does taste earwax whenever he says, hears, or reads the name Derek. For others it’s a smell/sound tangle — like the gentleman who smells bacon whenever he hears the Lord’s Prayer.

Trust me, I am not making this up.

Anyway, you can use the concept of synesthesia to make your writing sensational…

For example, his name could be sweet cinnamon on your tongue, you might move to the melody of the sun all summer long, or her shirt could be sprinkled with the painful language of purple.

So, while synesthesia can be an unfortunate condition, particularly if your best friend’s name is Derek or you salivate like Pavlov’s dog when Our Father arts in heaven, there's no doubt that thinking in synesthetic terms can make your writing…

 smell fabulous!

PROMPT: Make shapes taste funny and colors smell strange. Or get serious and contemplate the pale sound of autumn and the sun’s winter silence. Push the writing envelope today just for fun, just for you — no one else has to see, hear, or taste it. For visual artists — pick a piece of music and paint the melody. Singing bacon is optional.

Poetry Perks

As we launch into week 2 of National Poetry Month, you may be asking what poetry can do for you…

Besides save you from a miserable death, of course.

Well, poetry just so happens to be a terrific cure for writer’s block (I know, I know, a fate far worse than a miserable death for some).

The fabulous J.R.R. Tolkien often used poetry as a block breaker. Whenever he was stuck in the process of creating a story, he’d simply start writing out his thoughts in verse.

Tolkien wrote, “The first version of the song of Strider concerning Luthien originally appeared in the Leeds University magazine, but the whole tale, as sketched by Aragorn, was written in a poem of great length” (from The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien edited by Humphrey Carpenter).

Given this technique, it’s not surprising that Tolkien’s prose often reads with such a delicious cadence.

Research also shows that reading and writing poetry can make you more creative.

Poet, writer, and serious business dude Dana Gioia couldn’t agree more. He reports that when he worked in the business world… “I felt I had an enormous advantage over my colleagues because I had a background in imagination, language, and literature.”

And how did this advantage pan out?

Gioia happens to be credited with reversing a long-running decline in gelatin dessert sales when he and his team created the super-sensational…

Jell-O Jiggler.

Clearly, additional proof of the power of poetry is unnecessary…

But I’ll give you another bit anyway.

On the clinical side of things, poetry has actually been found to be a terrific weapon for fighting depression. 

A study in Great Britain found that 7% of depressed and stressed out patients were able to wean themselves off of medication through the simple daily practice of penning poetry.

So, if you want to beat the block, become a mover and shaker (literally) in the business world, or get a great big bunch of happy, now is the time to…

Rhyme on!

PROMPT: Use the Tolkien technique of putting your project in verse first. Try it with your current manuscript or as a way to jump-start your next one. Then shake things up a bit — I’m thinking an ode to the Jell-O Jiggler will do the trick.

Bozo Alert

Last week, the folks on Staten Island, New York were freaking out.

Apparently, there was a clown on the loose.

Photos of a face-painted bald guy with horrid fashion sense were jammin’ all over Instagram.

And Twitter was… well… all atwitter.

Most people would not leave their houses without the protection of a locked and loaded whipped cream pie or bucket of confetti.

Those with coulrophobia wouldn't leave their homes at all.

Alas, the news this week reveals that the whole thing was a hoax started by four friends who obviously enjoy…

clowning around.

I don’t know about you, but I think these guys might enjoy serving time…

in NewZealand.

PROMPT: Pick a chapter from one of your favorite tales, and toss in a clown just for chuckles. How would Hermione Granger, Eeyore, or Sherlock Holmes handle this “funny” situation?

Yep, They’re People Too

Believe it or not, the “talking animal” is a highly controversial subject in the world of children’s writing.

Some editors love them…

Some detest them…

And some educational companies absolutely forbid you to suggest that an animal speaks human.

And yet, many of our most beloved storybook characters from childhood are totally anthro.

Think about it —

You’ve got your Pooh bear, your Peter Rabbit, and Frances that well-mannered badger-thingy.

So, here’s my question…

Why don’t they ever wear pants?

Sure, they can chat, dance, serve tea, and even wear snappy tops…

But pants are definitely NOT happening with this crowd.

I don’t know about you, but that one’s been bugging me since I was about seven.

Alas, it is a mystery that may never be solved.

Anyway, here’s some real animal news that you can use in your writing today —

Marine biologists have recently discovered that dolphins use unique whistles for each of their friends.

In other words, they call one another by name.

Until now, we thought that only big-headed humans did such a thing.

And yet, these underwater anthros seem to fit the same old pattern —

Bottlenose bloomers and boxers have yet to be located.

The search continues…

PROMPT: It’s all about anthros today. Write with the dolphins, or knock yourself out with some other chatty critter — but do me a favor and, please oh please, keep their private parts private.

Not Just for Breakfast Anymore

About a month ago, a piglet walked into Kai Holt’s life…

and promptly plopped into his pool.

Turns out, the little oinker loved water.

And what do you do with a hog who happens to have an H₂0 hankering?

Obviously, you buy him a surfboard.

At least, that’s the way Kai Holt tends to roll.

Now Kamapua'a the hog is hangin’ loose on free boards from Costco…

Sportin’ the GoPro…

And uploading to Instagram.

Yep, this little piggy has sponsors.

And he goes WOOKA, WOOKA, WOOKA

All the way home.

PROMPT: This one has all the makings of a piggy “tale” twist to the old classic, Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White — so, write a story that saves someone’s bacon today. Bonus points if he hangs ten… or rather…eight.

All Aboard!

Years ago, I took the now-defunct Amtrak Pioneer from Seattle to Denver.

If you’re a writer, trust me; there is no better way to travel.

After all, there aren't any dishes or dusty wainscoting to distract you, and you’re basically surrounded by characters.

In my thirty-hour journey, I filled an entire notebook with poetry, character sketches, reflections, and tales.

Without a doubt, writers and trains go together like PB & J… salt & pepper… fish & chips…

And it turns out that I’m not the only one who thinks so.

Zach Seward and Jessica Gross thought that writing and rail riding were so wonderfully Green Eggs and Ham that they tweeted their opinions all over the Twittersphere.

“Yo, Amtrak!” they chirped. “We think you ought to offer a ‘writer in residence’ program.”

Well, Amtrak crowed, “We think so, too, Sam-I-Am!”

And just like that, Zach and Jessica had something to write home about — a free ride on the Lake Shore Limited from The Big Apple to Chi-Town!

I love it when writing dreams come true.

Don’t you?

PROMPT: Rev up your writing by giving a train a try. Or think outside the boxcar and come up with a fabulous new writing residency of your own.

Make Scents

The same folks who brought you the rabies vaccine, oboe, and Etch A Sketch are at it again.

Yes, I am talking about the French…

Who are planning to have an oPhone in your hot little hands by the end of the year.

That’s o as in…

Olfactory.

Yes, we're talking smell phone.

So, whether you are excited by the possibility of actually inhaling Teen Spirit while listening to Nirvana…

or dreading the skunky prank calls from the neighbor’s kids…

Let this serve as a friendly reminder to put some scents into your work.

PROMPT: Does your main character smell like cinnamon bread or New Jersey? What about the setting — à la salmon cannery or lemony fresh? Make your writing much more realistic by giving it some olfaction satisfaction today.

Knock Knock

Yep, that’s opportunity!

Do you like to write stories, poems, or nonfiction articles for children?

Well, here’s your chance to turn them into dough!

The Kansas Center for Educational Testing and Evaluation is looking for poetry and prose for grades 3 through 12.

Their plan is to use them on state reading assessments...

and they’ll pay you $250 for each piece they accept!

Cha-CHING!

This certainly looks like a great way to break into the business of educational writing.

As many of you know, I've been doing this sort of thing for years, so here are a few tips —

1. Pick kid-friendly topics for the grade level you’re targeting. Yes, that zombie kill-fest might be sooooo much fun to write, but you won’t sell it for Grade 2 assessments. Sorry.

2. Use the Readability Statistics that are built into Microsoft Word’s Spelling and Grammar Check. The Flesch–Kincaid Grade Level will help you zone in on your target audience. This number will not be accurate for poetry, though, so see tip #3…

3. Search core vocabulary lists for each grade level online and don’t stray too far from them. Trust me, I know how badly you might want to use “discombobulate” in a kindergarten text, but alas, it will not sell. For more thorough lists, pick up a copy of the EDL Core Vocabulary: Student Workbook by Steck-Vaughn. It will only set you back 10 bucks, and trust me, it’s money well-spent. I’ve been using mine daily since 2005.

So, check out the details for this terrific opportunity here, and…

PROMPT: Write on!

Well, Why Not?

Last Sunday night, if you were lucky enough to hear the post-Super Bowl interview with Seattle’s quarterback Russell Wilson, then you heard some news you can use!

He said, “We believed we would get here. At the beginning of the season I told our guys, ‘Hey, why not us?’ ”

Because those were the words of Wilson's late father.

“He used to always tell me ‘Russ, why not you?’ And what that meant was believe in yourself.”

That’s a big reason why Wilson went into football, even though the odds were stacked against him — at 5’ 11” he’s more than 3 inches shorter than the average NFL quarterback.

So, what about you?

What's your dream?

A published book?

A gallery show?

A Newbery or Caldecott medal?

Well, why not you?

PROMPT: What if you said “Why not me?” every time your head hit the wall of doubt?

Dream on!

Write on!

WHY. NOT. YOU.