Monday, October 21, 2013

Clowning Around

The Doctor will see you now…

This just in —

Medical Clowning degrees are now being offered in New Zealand.

I’m pretty sure that this announcement’s timing with the U.S. rollout of the Affordable Care Act is purely coincidental.

Anyway, those college PR folks are having a field day right now, I’m sure —

Sign up at a Kiwi University today and learn how…

To fit more clowns on a gurney!

Perform outrageous pratfalls with oxygen tubes (SO much better than the old banana peel trick)!

Juggle urine samples without a spill!

Never mind that University of Sheffield study where 100 percent of the kids polled reported that they disliked clowns as part of hospital d├ęcor


Those were persnickety British children, after all.

But here’s my burning question as the cost of medical care makes headlines every single day…

Hey, Bozo —

If you creep me out and cause a hypertensive stroke, or…

Freak out my kid and trigger an emergency coulrophobia treatment plan...

Are you still billing me?

Because that is SO not funny.

Not funny at all.

PROMPT: Give yourself a brainstorming workout by detailing a list of required medical clowning classes. Or, for those of you who would rather have a 50-needle-bearing physician enter your hospital room than one creepy guy in makeup — a horror tale would be fabulous!

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