Thursday, May 15, 2014

Truth Wins Again

Are you plumb out of plot?

Would an interesting character give your story a kick-start?

Well, then head on over to Flathead County!

The Flathead Beacon’s Police Blotter by Christie Burns is sure to do the trick.

Here’s a compilation of actual reports —

7:39 a.m. A 4-year-old in the Whitefish area called 911 to advise law enforcement that both his mom and his dad were home. His dad confirmed this and stated that all was well.

9:20 a.m. A balding man in a trench coat stole some candy from a local store. He was last seen pedaling away on his bicycle.

9:22 a.m. Bunnies are loose in the neighborhood of Third Avenue West.

9:26 a.m. A bookkeeper at a lumber yard on Highway 2 West reported that man with a "creep factor of 100" stole a power saw the day before.

9:38 a.m. A man with "sketchy eyes" got out of his truck and yelled obscenities after driving into a building on Electric Avenue in Bigfork.

9:51 a.m. A pair of horses was seen strolling together down Prairie View Road.

10:21 a.m. A Columbia Falls woman called in with additional information regarding the mysterious Tylenol tablets she found on her floor.

10:35 a.m. A handful of runaway mules were spotted on Church Drive.

11:09 a.m. A man on Freckles Road accidentally called 911 while playing with his phone.

1:00 p.m. Someone called in and reported that cows in a pasture off of Highway 206 were standing in the mud. An animal warden found that the cows were indeed standing in the mud, but were not stuck and had access to non-muddy areas.

1:15 p.m. A Kila man reported that someone stole his train picture last year.

1:24 p.m. "Everyone" speeds down Four Mile Drive.

2:39 p.m. Reportedly, a wolf hybrid has been terrorizing the chickens of Coram.

2:49 p.m. A young man in a cheap black suit was seen fighting an older man on Second Street West. They were split up and counseled regarding their bad behavior.

3:47 p.m. A Bigfork woman reported that her uncle, who has a history of bad behavior, drove by her house and flipped her off.

4:33 p.m. Three goats were seen traveling southbound down Highway 93 South.

4:36 p.m. A Kalispell woman called in with a list of names and recommendations for future arrests.

4:38 p.m. Over the last few days a Dawn Drive resident's change has gone missing.

5:11 p.m. Four loose goats were seen standing perilously close to highway 206. They were rounded up and reunited with their pen.

5:49 p.m. A Kila resident reported that the neighbor dog is loose again and harassing his goats. The dog owner denied that his dog was involved in such a thing.

7:18 p.m. A Marion resident reported that the neighbor man was outside Army crawling through the grass.

7:24 p.m. A Marion man claimed that a "hillbilly" threatened not only his life, but his dog's as well.

7:49 p.m. An intoxicated man took a short break from flipping off drivers and took a nap in the middle of Willow Glen Road.

8:59 p.m. Reportedly, a woman stole hygiene products from a Kalispell resident's home then fled the scene in a white pickup.

9:08 p.m. A Bigfork woman reported that a strange man in flip-flops knocked on her door and asked directions. She thought he was weird.

10:12 p.m. A woman reported being startled by the guitar toting, bearded man she encountered when leaving a building on Second Street West.

10:16 p.m. A man in an old pickup was seen "flying in and out of driveways" on Airport Road.

10:28 p.m. A Columbia Falls resident thought he heard an ominous pounding of drums coming from a neighbor's house and worried that something bad had happened.

11:08 p.m. A man on Highway 35 in Kalispell claimed that he brought a stray dog into his apartment because it had been howling outside. The dog, however, continued to deny the man the peace he desired and howled once inside.

Well, there you have it — A delightful day in Flathead County...

I’m thinking it’s less of a Blotter and more of a Plotter.

PROMPT: Every one of those Flathead events has got a backstory — it’s up to you to tell it. Or come up with a blotter of your own… for The Fairytale Times, perhaps?

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