Green Gone Bad

I know we’re all supposed to go green…

But sometimes green goes a little too far.

Take this viny thingy…

Uh, sorry Dad, I know I grew up on a nursery where you were always spouting out the Latin names for every bush and tree, but…

Back to the viny thingy — Last year, I planted it next to the front porch as part of my “porch beautification” project. It was supposed to climb up the post in some kind of lovely manner. Instead, it looked more like a green version of the McDonaldland Grimace.

So this year, I hacked it back.

And this wasn't just a little hack –

This was a “hack ‘til there’s nothing but dirt” kind of hack.

Well, the Grimace returned.

Then in one week’s time, it went from tickling the legs of a chair…

to swallowing it whole.

I’m starting to think it’s holding a grudge.

I’m starting to worry about the safety of neighborhood pets…

And the ‘slow children’ those yellow signs are always warning about.

Hmmm…

There’s one creeping creepy story in there somewhere, I just know it.

PROMPT:  Good greenery gone bad is today’s hot house topic. Check out The Dead Boys by Royce Buckingham for inspiration. Nothing says “Leave on the night-light and cuddle up with your machete” like this one — it features a nuclear waste-mutilated sycamore that feeds on the life energy of boys. Gnarly fun!