I cannot watch Olympic gymnastics without memories of middle school.
Back then, I had the amazing (mis)fortune of attending a school with a complete set of gymnastics equipment. What’s more, our P.E. teacher was a former college gymnast.
She was a flippin’ zealot.
And so, for eight weeks every winter I endured a whole heap of falls and face-plants – because gymnastics apparently required strength, agility, and coordination.
I had NONE of these qualities.
In fact, I’m pretty sure that when God was handing them out, I was in line for pie.
Splits – Forget about it.
Cartwheels – Dream on.
Back walkover – Not a chance.
The same could be said for the front walkover, the handstand, the headstand, the handspring, and the round off.
In my 4 years of “training”, I mastered only one thing –
The forward roll.
To this day, I have no idea how I even passed middle school Phys. Ed.
Because I’m pretty sure that a hoofed animal could have outscored me.
And while my sister can STILL do cartwheels (yeah, she flaunts it whenever she receives good news) – over the years I have lost even the tiny crumb of forward roll aptitude I once possessed.
Yep, I still stink at gymnastics.
But I’m totally fine with that now that I’m a grown-up.
Time has taught me that I actually stink at a LOT of things – auto mechanics, phlebotomy, Scottish dancing, nuclear physics….
The list goes on
And so with my hard-won maturity, I will actually enjoy watching the USA’s “Fabulous Five” battle it out for the gold tonight…
without traumatic middle school flashbacks.
Of course, the pie will help.
PROMPT: Even with all of the Olympic winning going on, you can still take time out to embrace your inner loser. Check out (aptly-named) Loser by Jerry Spinelli and Jeff Kinney’s Diary of a Wimpy Kid for inspiration. Then bake a pie. Pie makes everything better.