Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Login Shmogin

On this date 44 years ago, some dude in a UCLA basement lab transmitted the first-ever email to another dude waiting patiently in another lab at Stanford.

The message — “LOGIN”

But let’s not talk about the fact that the system crashed after “LO.”

A “LO” is something after all, and so in 2005 somebody came up with the brilliant idea of naming October 29th International Internet Day.

But here’s the thing…

In the same year, someone else decided to name October 29th as National Cat Day.


I think not.

Consider the fact that cats dominate the internet.

Think Maru—

Nobody rocks a box quite the way he does.

Then there’s Grumpy Cat, of course, who takes surly to a whole new level.

Both felines have gone on to be published authors, by the way.


Let that one sink in a tick.

So here’s my theory—

I’m thinking that the first email transmission crashed for a reason.

And it wasn't “LOGIN” making its way through cyberspace to that lab in Stanford.

It was the first cat hack (and I am NOT referring to hairballs).

The actual message—


PROMPT: The internet takeover is just the first step in their plan for world domination. Imagine a world where cats rule, and humans must… 
  • Lavish them with gifts and fancy food to the tune of 23 BILLION dollars a year nationally.
  • Post Facebook statuses for their “masters.”
  • Awaken at 5:00AM EVERY day (yep, weekends and holidays, too) just to serve breakfast…

Hey, wait a minute.

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