Thursday, April 10, 2014

Bovines and the Bards

Serious poetic potential here — and that’s no bull.

Like everybody else, writers eat up a lot of life experiences — both the sweet clover kind and the nasty weedy ones.

But after all of that experiencing, writers become a lot less like people and a lot more like cows.

Writers love to take their life stuff, wander off to quiet meadows (the places most other folks call offices), and get down to the business of chewing cud. In fact, I'm convinced that the vast majority of writers are introverts simply because no one really wants to chew on regurgitated, partially-digested life experiences in public…

Well, it’s a theory.

Anyway, the awesome result of all this cud chewing is often a product totally unlike the field fodder. And sometimes, if we’re lucky — it can be so wonderfully rich and full of butterfat that it’s basically Häagen-Dazs on the page.

Yep, cows get my vote as the official mascots for Team Writer.

In fact, just hanging around a herd of them can compel even the most unlikely folks to pick up the pen. How else do you explain the entire genre of cowboy poetry?

Clearly those boys are inspired by the moos.

And while we’re celebrating National Poetry Month, you can, too!

So, get on some giddy-up and write yourself a posse of poems about life on the range — even if the only range you've ever known is made by GE.

For a peck of inspiration, ride off to the nearest ranch, or take the city slicker route with this link to Cowboy Bob’s Dictionary.

After you've done the above, here’s a simple test to check whether you’re really ready to pick up the cowpoke pen:

Question: What’s a metaphor?

Answer: Why, fer grazin’ yer cattle, ya greenhorn!

Today as yer a-spinnin’
‘round this big ol’ ball o’ mud -
Save yerself a piece o’ time,
Just fer chewin’ up yer cud.

Okay, okay, I’m no poet lariat, but you know what to do.

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