And Sometimes the Answer is...

GOOD NEWS!!!

That was the subject line of an email I received last November.

I knew who sent it, and I knew what it was about, but I could barely open it.

It seemed a bit surreal.

After all, I’d waited for this particular moment for a while.

Okay, a long time.

The picture book in question had gone through about 10 months of revision with my acquiring editor.

But that’s not what I mean by “long time.”

The truth is, I’m pretty sure this entire process began when I was 10. That’s when I wrote and illustrated my very first “picture book.”

Alas, the writing was wanting and the plot was thin.

And then there were illustration issues. 

The turtle character I could handle. A rock with appendages — piece of cake. But the frog dude? Now, that was a lot of leg to deal with.

Trust me, you can only hide your amphibian behind a leaf so many times before even a 10-year-old realizes that a book is DOA.

The project was abandoned. And from then on, I left the illustrations to the professionals.

Fast-forward another decade or so, and I was starting to submit manuscripts in earnest.

But the YES did not arrive.

Sure, the stories were likely lacking. But I’m pretty certain that the main reason for all of that rejection was the sad fact that my acquiring editor hadn’t been born yet.

And then he was.

Of course he had to navigate through teething and walking, reading and writing, and all the rest.

He did it with flying colors — especially that reading and writing part.

Then he spent 10 months helping me make my little book the best that it could be so that he could take it to an acquisitions meeting.

And only then...

after all of that...

could he type the words I’d been waiting for:

GOOD NEWS!!!

Yeah, it took a long time...

But not quite as long as the Cubs.

And YES! It was worth the wait.

PROMPT:                         “Never, never, never give up.”

~Winston Churchill

Don’t Be Chicken

Well, it’s November.

And you know what that means, don’t you?

It means that summer is far behind us, and the slow march to winter solstice is beginning to take its toll.

Here in the Gray-t Northwest, November means gray and drizzle and gray and showers and gray and rain and more gray and cloudbursts and early nightfalls of a darker shade of ... well, gray.

Here’s the rub — if you’re not careful, all of that gray can start to affect your grey matter. And by mid-month you’re likely to find yourself listlessly sucking down Darjeeling and eating orange marmalade straight from the jar.

I’m speaking from experience here.

But this doesn’t have to be you! Your inner awesomeness and a November stretch goal will save the day... er... month!

Just say NO to listlessness by checking out this list of fabulous possibilities—

Pen a novel! (NaNoWriMo)

Create 30 picture book concepts in 30 days! (PiBoIdMo)

Research and write a nifty nonfiction piece! (WNFIN)

Or get really inventive and create a November challenge of your own...

You could draft a screenplay!

Revise those old manuscripts you’ve got hanging about!

Do daily morning pages à la The Artist Way!

You could even make it a month of poems, jokes, comics, or paintings!

Due to the fact that I write for a living and for fun, I decided to take that last option last year.

I’d never worked with acrylics, and I thought, Well what have I got to lose, but all that orange marmalade belly fat? Then I set aside an hour a day for painting.

In the end, it was great fun. And I particularly enjoyed two of the pieces I did...

 

Ahem...

Well, I guess I was a little chicken after all.

But it didn’t stop me.

PROMPT: Come up with a stretch goal and make your own November to remember...

Chickens are optional.

YES YOU CAN!

Imagine that all of your wildest author and artist dreams have come true...

I mean, really imagine it

in living color

with taste and smell-o-vision even.

What would your life be like?

What time would you get up in the morning?

What would you eat for breakfast?

What would you wear?

How much time would you put into your craft each day?

What crazy new projects would you try?

Where would you go?

Who would you hang with?

What causes or charities would you champion?

You know where this is going, don’t you?

PROMPT: All of those amazing answers of yours...yep, every one—

DO.THEM.NOW.

And once again, here’s that little bonus motivator that never fails to crack me up.

So Many Choices... So Little Mind

Here’s some news you can use —

Our good friends in the field of neuroscience have proven that the brain’s most productive time is within the first two hours of waking up.

Ah yes, smug pessimists, you’re right about this one — it’s all downhill from here.

But optimists, take heart! Applied wisely, this could be the best news you’ve heard all day.

First off, let’s explore why this is so.

Well, in not-so-super-scientific terms, your brain gets tired. 

And what makes it tired? Three things really —

Decision. Decisions. Decisions.

Okay, that looks like only one thing. But it turns out that mental energy is drained away with every choice you make — especially those that involve willpower. At a certain point your grey matter thinks nothing matters... “Like whatever, Dude. Whatever.”

The actual super-scientific term for this is called decision fatigue. And it explains why a health-conscious person will refuse that tempting bowl of donutty frosted fun first thing in the morning, yet gleefully scarf down two or three at noon.

But is this fact of life only helpful for those trying to avoid donuts?

Nope.

Arming yourself with this insight can actually help you reach your creative goals. Here’s how:

1. Eliminate unnecessary life decisions... like that pesky morning fashion dilemma. Trust me, if your closet contains only black mock turtlenecks (Steve Jobs) or gray t-shirts (Mark Zuckerberg), you’ll free up your mind for more important choices. And if you want to really go full throttle with decision elimination, you can ditto successful CEOs Alexa Von Tobel and Leo Widrich by eating the same meals each and every day as well.

2. If you spend the first two hours of your day watching YouTube videos of cats wedging themselves into teeny tiny boxes, you might want to rethink the way you start your morning.  Remember that those first two hours are 120 minutes of golden creative opportunity.

3. Creative endeavors require willpower. That is, for most of us they’re optional activities so a decision must be made daily — as in, “Will I write something today, or not?” And we all know what happens when you leave this decision until evening...Yep, you’re glazed and confused from eating ALL the donuts, and you’ve got no words in the file.

So, make the decision ahead of time. In fact, build a habit such as “Every day at (pick your favorite time) I write for X number of minutes or Y number of words.” And voila! That was just one decision, and you’ve already made it! So, if you stick to this plan, you won’t ever need to decide again — leaving your brain freed up for other important choices like...

Do I want the chocolate frosting or vanilla?

PROMPT: Give your brain a choice break and start building creative habits. For a kick-start in habit formation, check out Gretchen Rubin’s book Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives.

By the way, I am guiltily aware that one of your decisions today was spent on choosing to read this blog. For that, I am grateful.

Happy New Year!

Yes, I know. This baby New Year is already 28 days old and cutting teeth. What’s more, I’ve read a recent article suggesting that most of you have given up on your writing resolutions by now.

Now that’s just sad.

So maybe it’s time to regroup and give yourself a restart.

An awesome theme song might help...

You Gotta Be by Des'ree, Kelly Clarkson’s Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You), or Always Look on the Bright Side of Life by Monty Python are all excellent choices. However, I do NOT recommend Waiting Around to Die by Townes Van Zandt, or Beck’s Loser for obvious reasons.

A Statement of Awesomeness comes in handy, too...

Something like Writing for the Wide Screen in 2016, Novels, Art, and Caffeine for 2016, or I’m a Creating Machine in 2016 could be just the ticket to set your wonderful wheels in motion. 

Personally, I’m Plotting for Dopamine in 2016. Clearly I find it hard to resist wordplay that combines my love of both writing and psychology. And yes, I am well aware that I’m the only one chuckling right now. But I do digress...

Please note that if your 2015 Statement of Awesomeness was... well, awesome, then there’s certainly no shame in It’s What I REALLY mean in 2016!

So let’s restart this New Year the right way right now!

Here are FIVE TIPS to make the awesome part guaranteed: 

1. Say YES to RESOLUTIONS! Even though New Year's resolutions get a bum rap, our friends in the Journal of Clinical Psychology note that those who make them are actually 10 times more likely to successfully change their behavior than those who do not.
2. ACTION is your friend. Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Get action. Do things; be sane; don’t fritter away your time; create, act, take a place wherever you are and be somebody; get action.” While his words should not be confused with the post-Teddy phrase “get some action”... his sentiments remain spot on. ACTION, whether you're taking it or getting it, is always a good thing.
3. FINISH! Vow to finish something this year... and this something can be ANYTHING... even an anything as humble as a haiku. Just finish it. And while you’re finishing, remember this as well – DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT. If the last line of that haiku has one extra syllable that you just can't seem to shed — I do not care, mon frère. Call it done, grin, and move on.
4. Then there’s the first cousin of DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT, affectionately known as LATE IS BETTER THAN NEVER... just like this post... ahem. See, it’s true.
5. Finally, if you can remember only one of all the tips I’ve mentioned, please let it be this one — STAY IN THE GAME. It doesn’t matter what we’re talking about here – resolutions, goals, dreams, desires, or life in general and specifically – STAY IN THE GAME. It’s always worth the ride.

Bonus Tip: Through it all, BE NICE TO YOURSELF. And if you happen to get to a point where you’re spouting a bunch of F words like failure, frustration, or face-plant, remember that a new year can begin on any given day at any given moment —

even this one right now.

PROMPT: Art is not just what we do. Art is who we are.

Yes, my friend, your LIFE is a work of art —

so, make it a good one.

And here’s a little extra motivation that cracks me up and never gets old.

Update

It’s been exactly nine months since my last post, and I thought it was high time for an update.

Because nine months is a fabulous wedge of time, isn't it? After all, it’s the exact portion of a year that can morph a good idea into something squalling on its own.

So, it may come as no surprise to you that I've used the time to create a brand spanking new revision of a novel I've been toying with for years. And unlike human offspring who tend to hang around for a couple of decades, that baby was itching to leave the nest before the ink was dry. And so, I sent it out the first chance I got, right?

Nope.

First, I had it read by a couple of people with blood-red pens and hearts the size of raisins. Trust me, you need these folks. At this stage of the game they are far more helpful to you and your manuscript than the ones with hearts the size of Texas who dot their i’s with daisies.

After this set of suggestions was considered, and I had gone through the draft yet another time, I was then on the hunt for good listeners.

You can usually spot good listeners by their large ears and thoughtful expressions. However, this method is not fool-proof. For example, cats and jackasses are NOT good listeners. Behind that cat’s thoughtful expression is just a headful of notions about canned food and plots that may or may not involve your murder should it ever figure out how to work the can's pull-tab on its own. And jackasses…

Well, they’re jackasses.

Anyway, after finding a great batch of listeners who were willing to meet for a boatload of sessions, I read that whole dang novel OUT LOUD. I can’t really overemphasize the importance of this step. You will not believe how many little errors you’ll catch if you use it. It seems that the brain reading silently loves to patch things up as it hums along, but give it a voice and wow! You’ll find yourself wondering how you could have possibly missed that obvious mistake in your first 147 read-throughs.  

Finally, when that was all said (OUT LOUD) and done, the novel was ready to send off into the great big world where it will eventually receive its YES or NO.

Pop quiz time!

What do you do when you've completed and submitted your manuscript?

A. Check email, snail mail, and voice mail 317 times a day and look like this—

B. Get on with your next novel and look like this—

Well, I don’t know about you, but I chose option B. 

And so, I’m already knee-deep into chapter two of novel two — that’s the good news.

The bad news is that blog posts will continue to be on a pretty random cycle from here on out.

And now for an update on the home front:

Midway through the novel revision, my dear, sweet, elderly office mate abandoned the project (and life as we know it). Those were tough days indeed, and alas, he is still missed.

R.I.P

However, on a lighter note, I have since been blessed with two new colleagues. And while they do have actual names, and perhaps titles, I've dubbed them Thing 1 and Thing 2. I’m guessing you can see why…

 Obviously, they are a work in progress.

Aren't we all?

PROMPT: I’m placing bets that you have a mossy old manuscript stashed somewhere. Well, today is the day to dig it out and dust it off!

Oh, and don’t forget that it’s International Moment of Laughter Day (go ahead and Google if you must). This is sure to give you a jump-start on the celebration.

I think that's how we should all handle rejection letters, don’t you?

New Directions

The big question is whether you are going to be able to say

 a hearty yes to your adventure.

—Joseph Campbell

I've just returned from a grand adventure, and it was absolutely fabulous!

But here’s the rub —

Adventure invites change.

And it is up to us to decide whether we allow that change to work its magic.

Well, I say bring it on!

Thus, for a while I’ll be exploring some new paths…

just to say a hearty YES to more of my adventure.

So, I’ll be taking a sabbatical of sorts from the good ship Elbow.

Until we sail again…

Au revoir!

PROMPT:

Waste not your Hour…

— Omar Khayyam

And as always — 

Write on!

Just a Word

Ah, Oxford!

I’m pretty sure that it’s is where geeky people go when they die (well, at least that’s my plan).

I mean, what’s not heavenly about a collection of 38 colleges in a beautiful setting?

And then, of course, it includes the mega-nerd bonus…

Yep, that’s Logic Lane.

Anyway, for over a century All Souls (ahem, geeky souls… see above) College of Oxford had a very special test to help them choose which student would receive a 7-year fellowship.

It was an exam created to bring the most brilliant minds to their metaphorical knees —

The one-word essay.

Students seated for this task would have an envelope placed into their trembling hands. Within that envelope (gulp!) was a single white card. And on that card (gasp!) was just one word.

The students would then be asked to write coherently, creatively, and brilliantly about that word for three solid hours.

Each year, THE WORD was a closely guarded secret that everyone wanted to know. In fact, THE WORD held such allure that even the townsfolk couldn't wait to find out. 

Crowds would gather outside the exam hall just so they could be the first ones to roll THE WORD off their tongues. Americans, think Black Friday and a Talking Elmo special — yeah, it was THAT big.

Alas, that is all part of the past now. It was a sad day in 2010 when All Souls College discontinued the practice. Apparently they ran out of words. 

These days, the students write essays about the classics, politics, and philosophy. As for the townsfolk — they remain in front of their tellies, never missing the latest advert for Talking Elmo.

But to think, for over a century that essay actually determined the future of a whole lot of… well… souls.

Never underestimate the power…

of just one word.

PROMPT: Take your own All Souls College exam to test your mettle today. Here are a few of the famous last words used over the years: POSSESSIONS, MERCY, STYLE, NOVELTY, WATER, MIRACLES. Pick one and go!

Blinded by Science… Fiction!

Do you prefer ray guns to Rachel Ray?

When I say wormhole, do your thoughts have nothing to do with burrowing insect larva?

Do you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that telepathy, telekinesis, and teleportation are NOT the names of the three straight Teletubbies?

If you answered yes to all three questions, then you may be a sci-fi fanatic. And if you are a sci-fi fanatic, I suggest that you get your mutant android self to a local library or newsstand to pick up a Popular Science magazine.

I checked out one of these bad boys last week, and it was chock-full of plot potential. However, some of the plots I found would probably NOT make for pleasant bedtime reading… Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

One article featured NYU bioethics professor S. Matthew Liao who suggested that we reengineer humans so they’re less of a burden for old Mama Earth. 

He proposed that doctors use in-vitro fertilization to select only embryos with genes for short stature — because tiny folks leave tinier carbon footprints. 

Gee, I guess Randy Newman was dead wrong back in 1977 — Short People DO have a reason to live, after all (thanks global warming!).

Dr. Liao also recommended the development of special drugs to induce meat allergies. That way, the inconvenience of anaphylaxis would reduce all that little people lust for big, bad carbon-intensive beef.

These approaches, reported Dr Liao (with a maniacal grin, I’m sure), would “encourage people to make the eco-friendly choices that they seem to have trouble making on their own.”

Yeah.

That’s really encouraging —

in the sci-fi department.

 

Well, sleep tight!

PROMPT: Give your imagination a good stretch — pick up a Popular Science magazine and fictionalize one of their features... 

What could possibly go wrong?

What a Wonderful World

What if you created a world of your own?

PROMPT: What if you already do?

Typical Day on the Funny Farm… er… Ranch

Ridin’ the range in search of that elusive…

Red Delicious

Back when I was a psych. intern, I had a discussion with a coworker who knew everything and was never afraid to show it. Somehow we landed on the topic of “folks who grow apples.”

That’s when I said something like, “Yadda yadda yadda… apple farmers.”

“Ranchers,” he interrupted.

“Excuse me?”

“They are apple ranchers, not farmers,” he said with the authority of someone who grew up in Wenatchee, Washington — AKA the center of the apple lovin’ universe.

“You've got to be kidding.”

He was not. In fact, he looked at me like he couldn't believe that I’d managed to live so long, given my obvious brain impairment.

Well, growing up as an East Coaster, I was always under the impression that ranching usually involved a whole lot of ridin’ and ropin’ and such. Then again, I had never been to a real live apple harvest — it was quite possible that those Galas and Ida Reds were a lot feistier than I’d ever imagined.

But I’m open-minded about these things, so whenever my know-it-all friend was around, I went above and beyond when speaking of those “folks who grow apples” …

Yep, they were apple jolly ranchers from then on.

‘Cause I’m pretty sure they were all really happy that I no longer called them farmers.

PROMPT: There are two ways to go with this one. First off, we've got the annoying know-it-all who is always a fun character to work with (On the page. Real life? Not so much). Then there’s the topsy-turvy world of ranching. I mean, if you can ranch apples, you can ranch anything — poodles, turnips, penguins, pens…

The POWER of Positive!

Sara Blakely is the creator of Spanx. Yeah, she’s the one who created herself into the world’s youngest female billionaire.

Well, I recently listened to an interview of Miss Blakely, and WOW! It was chock-full of positive news that you might want to use.

When asked about the secret to her amazing success, Sara said that when she was 16 years old, her dad gave her a set of Wayne Dyer tapes (audio, not duct — for those of you younger than dirt) called How to Be a No-Limit Person.

Sara reports that she listened to those recordings until she had ALL TEN TAPES memorized. She said that she ALWAYS had the tapes going as she drove. In fact, her friends refused to ride with her because they couldn't 

bear to hear Wayne’s No-Limit yammering over and over and over again.

Hmmm… I wonder if they’d ride with her now.

Anyway, Sara said that all of those positive recordings retrained her brain.

Through them she learned how to deal with any and all of life’s obstacles by asking two questions —

Where is the blessing in this?

Where is the opportunity?

Fast-forward about 10 years, and Miss Blakely found herself cutting the feet off of a pair of pantyhose so that she could make her butt look smaller under her jeans…

POP QUIZ TIME!

At that moment, did Miss Blakely ask —

Will a new ThighMaster help me get rid of this butt?

Or

Will the papaya diet help me get rid of this butt?

Or

Should I break down and just buy bigger jeans made to fit this bigger butt?

No, no, and NO!

She asked —

Where is the blessing?

To which she probably answered —

There is absolutely, positively NOTHING blessed about a big butt.

But then she asked —

Where is the opportunity?

To which she answered —

I bet other women have the very same big butt bind.

You got that right, Sister!

The rest is billionaire history.

Now, if you've been around the sun a few times, you know that every single day of the year comes complete with at least one obstacle. What wonderful things might happen in your life, if you embraced those Sara Blakely questions?

I mean, come on! If those questions can defeat a big butt —

They can do ANYTHING!

PROMPT: Test out those questions with some of the obstacles that get tossed your way today. And while you’re at it, start feeding your brain some positive messages the way Sara did back when she was a wicked-smart teen. Some folks go for the almighty affirmation, some use visualization, and some look to books or recordings for inspiration. Whatever gives you a positive hit – try to fit it into each and every day. And if your first thoughts of “positive” involve the words “evening news” or “reality” TV — WE NEED TO TALK.

Independence Day

Today is a great day to declare your independence…

from adulthood.

Come on, just for today.

Trust me, there is no better way to boost your creativity…

Just ask any kid about his or her missing homework, and you’ll be blown away by imagination and inventiveness!

So get out the hula hoops, beach balls, and super soakers —

It’s a great day to PLAY!

PROMPT: WHEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee!

Don’t Show, Don’t Tell

Yes, you read that right — DON’T Show, DON’T Tell. 

This is not to be confused with the Show Don’t Tell rule we've talked about before, or the military’s former Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy.

This has to do with those incredible stories that live inside of you. 

Yeah, you know the ones...

If you place your hand on your chest you might feel their thump-wump, thump-wump as they beat against your rib cage.

Sure, physicians will tell you that you’re actually feeling the beat of your heart, but what do they know? Go ask a neurosurgeon if he or she has ever found the thought generator while poking around in a brain…

Actually, don’t do that. It’s just mean.

Anyway, those captive and captivating stories will thump, knock, beg, plead, and pound until you let them out.

But here’s the rub —

If you want to be a writer, you must be sure to let them out the “write” way. Otherwise they’ll fly from that cage faster than you can say doughnut jar.

You see, if you tell that great plot idea to a best friend, sibling, or spouse, it is as good as gone. And then when you finally set a date with your laptop, you might find that you’re left with nothing but a pile of feathers.

I made this mistake plenty of times when I was younger. Now that I’m older, wiser, and think a lot more about bone density and bifocals, I won’t tell a thing.

Trust me, it works.

So the next time those well-meaning friends ask you what you’re working on, practice the art of being vague —

even if they offer you chocolate...

a pony…

or a doughnut jar.

Be fuzzy with friends and family, but very clear with your tales…

Tell them that there is only one way out —

And that is on the page.

PROMPT: DON’T show, DON’T tell until it’s DONE. Put it on the page today.